


Movie Mischief

by TheMistyCatMaster (TheMistyDarkPrincess)



Series: Avengers One-Shots [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Fury is so Done with everything, Godzilla References, Loki This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, M/M, Mischief, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Beta Read, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Pepper is friends with Loki, Post-Avengers (2012), Secret Relationship, Snakes on a Plane Reference, Thanks for the over 1000 hits!, Tony Is Not Helping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 11:50:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11463000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMistyDarkPrincess/pseuds/TheMistyCatMaster
Summary: Tony showed Loki some movies he probably shouldn't have.  The team has to deal with the consequences.  Fury is so Done with everything, he can't even keep up being furious.





	Movie Mischief

**Author's Note:**

> I have no clue where this came from... Yet here it is.

If there wasn’t a day like this before in Tony Stark’s life, he really would like to remember it. The hoopla bullshit that was being thrown about right in front of him was enough to add to the many things he disliked about SHIELD. As he sat at the debriefing table, surrounded by the other Avengers, his fingers twitched, begging for his Starkpad.

“You aren't answering my question. Who was the dumbass who thought that telling the Hulk to play baseball using a fucking skyscraper was a good idea?”

Fury was living up to his name as he demanded the answer for what could possibly have been the twentieth time in three hours.

“That wasn't Bruce.”

Tony ground out finally having enough of Fury’s shit to last him a lifetime.

“Then who was is Stark? The Jolly Green Giant?”

Fury stared down hard with his eyes.

“Why don't you ask the Hawkman? He was perched! You've been ranting and raving, not listening to a damn thing and Clint has been dancing in his seat like a trained monkey.”

Tony responded back easily getting an “up yours Stark!” from Clint who gave him a quick hard look of his own. Bruce, who was seated next to the archer, sunk into his chair even more making it clear his attempt at trying to disappear.

“Barton, you better start singing.”

Fury turned his attention to the archer who snapped his attention to the man speaking to him.

“Sir, it… It was actually the giant lizard we were fighting -and here Tony coughed a “Godzilla” that had Clint sending him a quick, clear “shut up” look in turn-… Then after we shrunk the thing, the littler version vanished before I could get a good look at where it was scurrying.”

Clint had his nerves clear as day on the table as he tapped said object with nervous fingers as he explained. Fury gave him the “do you think I'm that stupid? Really?” look.

“Bullshit.”

The man said swiftly. That's when Steve cleared his throat and directed the man's attention to him.

“The part about the lizard is correct. What is the not the truth about the rest is we know what happened to the lizard.”

He said and Fury sent him an unamused look.

“What then?”

Tony looked over at Bruce who had buried his face in his hands.

“Hulk stepped on it.”

Natasha’s response had Bruce giving a little embarrassed noise.

“By the way, never get close to the Big Guy’s feet. He's ticklish.”

Tony threw in for good measure. Bruce gave him an unamused glare through his fingers, and Fury gave a groan at the possibility of the sheer stupidness of the whole thing.

“A fucking lizard picks up a fucking skyscraper, uses the building as a fucking baseball bat for all of you, shrinks, gets fucking stepped on by the Hulk, and the Hulk is fucking ticklish. Fucking great.”

The man ran a hand down his face and Tony smiles to himself first, then towards the rest of the team.

“Knew it! You guys owe me twenty bucks a piece!”

The rest of the team gives him dead stares, he matches with his own vibrant “shit eating” grin.

“Knew what Stark?”

Fury growls at him, allowing Tony the chance to turn the grin on him.

“That you  _ do _ have the tendency to drop the f-bomb more often before dragging your hand down your face while dealing with us at briefings.”

“Fuck you Stark.”

“Love you too, Fury-kins.”

“No seriously, fuck you Stark, nothing stays serious with you.”

“And you wouldn't have it any other way.”

* * *

“Tony, did you really need to do that?”

Steve asked as the two entered onto the former’s floor.  Tony looked over at the other with a smirk.

“Do what?”

He asked innocently, and the Captain sighed.

“You know what.”

He said with a frown.  Tony shrugged.

“I do a lot of things Cap.  Which one are we talking about here?”

He asked and Steve got his “I’m disappointed” look out.

“Oh come on Cap.  Cut me a break here.”

Tony gave the other a pout.

“Fury gets so done with things that he loses his temper easily.  I’m sure if he got stuck on a plane full of snakes he would shout something like: “I’ve had it with the Mother Fucking snakes on this Mother Fucking plane!” or something in the same vicinity as that.”

He said, voice slightly whiny as he ignored the immediate response of “language!” that came from Steve.

“But Stevie-baby, you know I'm right.”

He hummed and Steve groaned.

“Seriously Tony?”

His tone finally took a turn to fond. Tony gave him a huge grin in return.

“Yes, really.”

He cooed dorkishly. Steve fought back the chuckle that wanted to escape.

“Fury was right you know. Nothing stays serious with you.”

* * *

“Jesus Christ, Tony!”

Clint was shouting through the com while Tony was weaving in and out between buildings with a…  Pterodactyl(?!) following him.

“Glad you think so highly of me Barton, but I don’t think I’m the equivalent of a higher power of that power.  We have Thor for that.”

“This is not the time for jokes Stark!”

Cap’s voice stated sharply in Tony’s ear, talking over what might have been a snide comment from Clint, and a confused statement from Thor.  Tony gave a hum in response before he says not-to-calmly through the coms.

“Well no shit Cap.  I have an actual, real live Pterodactyl on my tail.”

He flips in the air and shoots off some repulser beams.  The ancient reptile seemed to casually dance itself out of the way on the wind.

“Okay seriously?  I don’t think a flying reptile like this is supposed to be able to dodge like that.”

Tony picks up speed as he flips again so he could continue to dodge the flying lizard.

“Stark take a sharp left, I’m about to try and fry this flying lizard.”

Clint says through the com as Tony circles around and tries to lose said “lizard”.

“Can do.”

Tony takes the sharp left and there is a boom from behind him along with a loud shriek…  Which was followed by the sound of wings beating perfectly fine.

“Barton, did you miss or something?”

“Fuck you Stark, I didn’t miss!  The thing took the arrow and brushed it off like it was being tickled. Take a sharp right. Thor see if you can shoot it down.”

Barton shot back and ordered over the com.

“Okay.”

Tony replied, though he had a whole lot more he would rather add…  If the prehistoric predator behind him wasn't making snapping motions at the repulsors on his boots. Thor called his affirmative over the com, and as soon as Tony began to take the mentioned sharp left, lifted his hammer into the sky and called forth an extremely bright bolt of lightning. There was more of a screech this time and Tony flipped over to see the Pterodactyl trying fiercely to beat it's wounded wings.

“Nice hit Thor.”

Tony cheered over the com as he watched the reptile start to lose air.

“Thank you friend!”

Thor responses over the com, his voice just as cheerful. Tony continues to watch the reptile struggle before… Poof. The thing just disappears. It disappears into a burst of sparkly green dust.

“Oh hell.”

Tony says loudly, forgetting for a moment about the com.

“Tony… Do you know what just happened?”

Cap’s voice comes from the offending piece of technology that Tony is swift to turn off as soon as he finishes the question.

* * *

“Start talking Stark.”

Fury snapped from the head of the table, his one eye focused sharply on the man who was looking anywhere but at the man.  In fact…  It was almost like he was….

“Barton, check his ears.”

Fury turned his attention to the archer.  Clint gave a groan and stood up, walking over to where Tony was.  The man was staring at the ceiling of the room with his lips moving, though no sound was coming from them. That's when Clint spotted the headphone cord hidden by the collar of the shirt he had changed out of his flight suit into.

“Damn it Tony!”

Clint shouted as he ripped the earbuds out of the geniuses ears.

“Ow! Fuck, Clint, really?!”

Tony asked sharply staring at the archer with silent threats of harm (or pranking) in his eyes.

“Dude, look at the situation.”

Clint responded, gesturing at the rest of the team, who were staying silent in favor of not being dragged into the situation, and Fury who was staring coldly at Tony with expectancy.

“What?

Tony asked with a raised eyebrow, tempted to smirk at Fury as the man’s short patience got shorter.

“Start talking Stark.”

The man repeated, tone snappier than it had been. Tony gave a hum and then shrugged.

“All the things we’ve fought were things from Godzilla movies.”

He said and that gained him raised eyebrows.

“And? Do you know who is responsible for them?”

Fury growled, though the tone was restrained. Tony gave a shrug then.

“Well I know that Godzilla was supposed to be about-....”

He started and stopped with a smirk when Fury slammed his hands down onto the table.

“This is not a game Stark!”

The man in question gave a theatrical sigh and rolled his eyes.

“I know it's not. What I'm trying to say, and that you keep interrupting me in explaining, is that I think our bad guy is using Godzilla and his list of battles to attack the city.”

This had everyone look at him with varying degrees of disbelief or confusion.

“Seriously guys!”

Tony threw his hands in the air.

“I'm not joking. Think about it.”

Before anyone could say anything to refute Tony’s claim, the alarms began to blare again.

“Oh come on.”

Fury growled before he and the Avengers headed to the command center.

* * *

“Status report!”

The furious Fury shouted out into the room of agents in a frenzy.

“You won't believe it Sir…  But there is a giant Gorilla climbing the Avengers Tower…  with Pepper Potts in it’s hand.”

One brave agent shouted back in response.

“Godzilla VS. King Kong.  1963.”

Tony sing-songed, extremely pleased with himself for being right.  Fury snapped around to face him, while the rest of the team turned to look at him.

“Are you telling me…  That we’re dealing with King Kong?”

Fury’s tone was a growl and Tony gave a small, slightly panicked grin.

“Yep.  Shouldn’t we be going?  Pepper is in trouble.”

He responded, before vanishing out the door of the command center to get into his Iron Man suit.

* * *

The battle doesn't take as long as the ones before. Tony had gotten Pepper to safety almost as soon as he arrived at the scene. It was Thor, Clint, and a final hit from Natasha that manage to get Kong to go down, Thor with lightning, Clint with exploding arrows, Natasha with a well-timed Widow’s Bite deployment. It almost seemed that this enemy was less thought out. More rushed. But it disappeared in the same green dust as the last one. Seems only the first enemy had used a real animal.

Now the team was once again in the debriefing room, and Fury looked annoyed and tired of the day.

“Okay. I've heard enough. As long as the alarm doesn't go off, you're done for the day. I'm done for the day. I've had it with motherfuckin' movie based villains. Get out of my sight.”

Said man growled once everyone had gone over what had happened. The team looked surprised at this, but didn't question it before leaving the room.

* * *

“Loki, where are you?”

Tony called into the air of his penthouse, standing behind his personal bar, a glass of bourbon in his hands.  There was silence and then there was a burst of energy, following behind it was the familiar figure of the Silver Tongue.

“You called Anthony?”

The man asked, amusement and mischief dancing in forest eyes.

“Remind me to never show you monster, Kaiju, whatever,  movies again.”

Tony watched the other start chuckling.

“You had complained about being bored lately.  I figured I would give you something to do.”

Loki moved towards Tony gracefully, waving his hand around languidly as he explained.

“I didn’t expect the lizard to be Hulked.  I figured after that incident I would stick with my magic.  I’m surprised Thor didn’t feel it.”

The man was now in front of the bar, and reaching across it to caress Tony’s cheek.

“Perhaps he was distracted by the thrill of the fight?  Also, please thank Miss Potts for me.  She agreed to help me with Kong.”

Tony groaned at that.

“Revenge?”

He questioned and groaned again when he saw the grin on the god's lips.  So she agreed because of his lack of signed paperwork.  He had worried about her, and instead she had been conspiring with the man who had taken hold of Tony’s heart and weaseled his way inside.  Pepper was the only one who knew about him and Loki, and it took forever to convince her that Loki had not been himself when he attacked New York, but she finally had given in and agreed the two worked too well.  She and Tony had already decided to go their separate ways in the ways of relationshipping after Extremis, so Tony rebounding to the god when he appeared in the tower for the drink Tony owed him, then falling head over heels for the god, was acceptable.

“I would sign the paperwork when she gives it to you Anthony.”

Loki gave the other another smirk, then leaned forward over the bar.  Tony closed his eyes in anticipation of the kiss to come…  Then heard the other disappear in a burst of magic.

“Friend Anthony, I would like to talk with you about something!  I believe I have figured out who is to blame for the battles of before.”

Thor’s booming voice entered into the penthouse.  Tony gave a curse and moved to hide his hard on behind his bar annoyed.  Thor had just gained himself the title of god of cock-blocking in Tony’s mind.


End file.
